What a Pixar Movie Teaches About Emotional Intelligence- and How to Use It to Build Better Relationships

Most solid relationships are built upon two pillars of thought: Understanding and/or Appreciation & Trust. We can achieve these pillars in a few different ways. We can listen actively, showing interest and concern in their ideas. We can make others feel comfortable in sharing, thus allowing the person to feel at ease in opening up and being vulnerable.  Once someone feels comfortable sharing, they feel appreciated another is open to their ideas and thoughts.  By being open and honest with one another in a team environment, it allows each member to work in unity to solve problems and issues that may arise together in a more cohesive manner.

Emotional Intelligence, or EI, can be defined as “the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.”

Emotional Intelligence allows us to recognize and be in control of our emotions and therefore we are better capable to handle all relationships in a compassionate and wise manner. As we harness our emotions, we are able to apply them to problem-solving. A strong EI helps us understanding the emotions of others, and we can also manage these emotions by channeling them to cheer up or calm others in a difficult situation. We can even prioritize our emotions, which will help us better determine the actions we will take.

So, what does this have to do with Pixar? In 2015, Pixar released their movie Inside Out to the world, an animated film to immerse us in the mind, studying memories, human emotions and how they evolve during adolescence. Pixar worked directly with scientists, neurologists, psychologists and other experts to better understand how the mind works. In Pixar’s Inside Out we learn emotions drive our thinking and behavior.  And each behavior has a long-term effect on who we are and where our decisions take us.

While Pixar’s Inside Out is truly meant to be a children’s classic, it is not without its valuable lessons which teach us about EI. We learn 4 main valuable lessons:

• Respond- Not React. When we react to a situation with the most immediate emotion we feel, it may lead us to making decisions we eventually regret. By responding with something simple as "Let me get back to you on this." without an emotional reaction, we allow ourselves time for perspective. Why was our original emotion anger, or fear? When we realize what 'pushes our buttons' we are better capable of understanding why our initial reaction may not have been the best.
• Breakdown before the Breakthrough. We have all failed. It isn't until we fail that we learn the most about oneself. These moments are the key to learning about ourselves and our emotions. 
• Dare to Dream. The times we have failed or just 'missed the mark' are not for us to dwell on. We use these setbacks to gain experience. Each time we learn something new, it allows us one step closer to the success in the future we desire. 
• Empathy. We all need human connection. It is vital to our survival; we are a social species. However, it is not just the need to have people around, but the need to understand others as well as have others understand us. It is what makes us unique. Compassion, understanding and being inquisitive of others allows us to be more interconnected as a species. 

So, how do we adapt the lessons from this adolescent movie into everyday life and in everyday use. We can do a few minor changes in our behaviors to allow these changes:

1. Put out a Welcome Mat. Oftentimes we forget we can indirectly close others out. Keeping our work areas as 'always open' allows others to feel comfortable to approach us with ideas or concerns. Even in a telecommuting environment, utilizing IM programs in "available" mode allows others to feel at ease when sending direct messages.
2. Keep Communication Open. Lines of communication are often lost in translation. Pay attention to your tone of voice and body language. Your message may get lost when your body language conveys a different message than you are presenting.
3. Follow-up with People. Have an e-mail sent to you by a fellow colleague but haven't had time to respond? Keeping the communication active allows others to not wait on you for follow-up, keeping an even flow of ideas flowing.
4. Respect Others' Time. We all are very busy and do not always have time to follow-up on every minor detail. By only putting pertinent people in correspondence allows others to not get unnecessary e-mails which they may not need to be involved in the decision-making process. Learning about e-mail etiquette can help overcome obstacles.
5. Staying Connected. In this day and age, we often forget we have lives outside of the office, especially during busy season. By utilizing "small talk", we show others we are caring and concerned for their lives outside of the office.
6. Being aware of the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality. As we become more technology-centered, we lose our human connection. When we "fly off the handle" or speak to someone in a less-than-kind manner, we tend to forget each person we speak to has feeling and emotions just as we do. Just because you do not work with someone in person, does not mean you are not dealing with a person who is like yourself.

One of the most valuable lessons we can learn is that our IQ score may never change, but we have the ability to change and increase our EI score.  Paul Mohapel, a professor at San Diego City College, under the MESA program, created a quick EI assessment to see where students ranked on their Emotional Intelligence scores. While his test in not very in-depth, it only has 40 questions, it does allow a basic assessment on where most people can begin learning about their strengths and areas of weakness. Additionally, Psychology Today’s article “How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence- 6 Essentials” speaks about various ways to improve upon our EI scores daily. So, next time you sit down to watch a Pixar movie, think to yourself, "What can this teach me?"

It is very important to understand that Emotional Intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head- it is the unique intersection of both. - David Caruso

Dewey Sequence, Dead Fish Theory & Problem-Solving

Undoubtedly by now you have encountered problems where you have had to heavily rely on problem-solving techniques to create a resolution to the issue and move forward with as little disruption as possible. While problem solving is a basic coping skill we all have, it is also a structured approach to addressing the issues at hand which stands in the way of meeting our goals.

One of the most effective approaches to problem-solving is the Dewey Sequence Problem-Solving Strategy. Created and developed by educator John Dewey, the strategy includes six steps to solving a problem one faces. In his book How We Think, Dewey notes this problem-solving technique is “a consecutive order in such a way that each determines the next as its proper outcome, while each in turn leans back on its predecessor…Each term leaves a deposit which is utilizes in the next term.” The Dewey Sequence is comprised of six-steps for problem solving:

• Define The Problem: Dewey noted the ability to identify our problem is our biggest setback. However, in following the Dead Fish Theory, once we are able to accept the problem at hand and its source, we can move forward to deciphering the reasoning behind the problem and begin resolving it.
• Analyze the Problem: Once we have identified the problem, we have to analyze the problem using the 5-why technique. In utilizing the ideas behind a cause-and-effect process, we are able to explore our problem on a deeper level. Keeping with the mentality that nothing is impossible, we are able to acknowledge if there is a problem, there is a solution.
• Determine Criteria For Optimal Solution: In this step, Dewey suggests looking at the costs of the implementation, both short-term and long-term as well as its ability to be implemented or enforced. Additionally, he noted some resolutions can solve one issue and create another. By looking at the cost-effect initially, we are able to prevent new problems from arising.
• Propose Solutions: By brainstorming creative ideas, we are able to better approach our problem in hypothetical terms. When creating alternative solutions, without deep evaluation, we are better capable of looking at the problem in a solution-based mentality. Dewey suggests not spending too much time on options which are not feasible. Instead, trying the same options again from the start using the original version is the best approach. If no solution can be reached, stop and try another option.
• Evaluate & Choose the Best Solution: Once we have analyzed all possible solutions available, one solution would be chosen under scrutiny of three basic questions: 1. Are there any disadvantages of this solution? 2. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages? 3. Does the solution conform to the criteria formulated for what is considered successful?
• Implementing the Solution & Testing for Success: Testing the solution thoroughly for side-effects is the main goal in the last step of the process. Starting with the lowest-risk solution and its compatibility with your criteria for the optimal solution can help you gauge its success. If the solution did not completely address the problem, evaluate in what areas it was not successful, so when you go back to implement a different solution you are more knowledgeable in the shortcomings of the solution chosen.

While these problem-solving steps are effective in managing problems, it is important to always allow input from other neutral sources which may give a different approach and vital knowledge not yet noticed or found. Collaboration often leads to finding patterns in problems and by allowing a new approach to the issue, a resolution can be found. However, in many cases of problem-solving, people seek a quick fix to bandage the issue, believing the issue is resolved, only addressing the symptoms, not the problem’s root cause. Using the Dewey Sequence Technique, it can aid in solving the root core issue of problem for the long-term.

How do you go about solving issues in business or in life?

Overcoming Setbacks Using Resilience

Overcoming setbacks is the key to achieving success. In life, as setbacks occur, it is essential to remain determined to overcoming these challenges and use them as a springboard to success. Realizing that setbacks are opportunities to learn from past mistakes and find a lesson in each situation is essential to growth. Our reaction is always our choice.

Setbacks occur in multiple forms. They can be in the form of an unexpected event, such as a company layoff or restructuring, and often derail plans we originally set for ourselves. As these setbacks occur, it is easy to see them as a rejection and can fuel fears of failure. We can approach these setbacks in two ways: internally or externally.  Often times as we internalize our feelings, they continue to thrive in a negative manner, often times becoming the mental block which further fuels negative thoughts on failure. Remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of crisis. However, we have a choice in how we respond. If we choose to panic, we may make decisions we would not have normally chosen under different circumstances. In contrast, as we accept these setbacks as opportunities to thrive, are we able to remain strong in order to achieve our goals. Maintain perspective. The setback may feel overwhelming at the moment; however, it may not make much impact in the long-term.

In order to overcome setbacks, we must look at the obstacle as an opportunity of growth; we are not the victim. When we master our negative emotions, only then can we make the best decision. As a setback occurs, improving our resilience is the key. As the saying goes, “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.” This can be achieved in four main ways: recognizing strengths, building good relationships, taking action and nurturing yourself.

• By recognizing strengths, we are able to look at our current situation as a growth opportunity, a chance to take another path towards our success. Making the most of our talents
• As we build good relationships with colleagues, we create a strong support network to fall back on in times of setbacks. People who have stronger connects are more resistant to stress. Treating people with empathy and compassion is the key here, so utilize those EI techniques.
• As we have set SMART goals for ourselves toward our success based on our values, we use the setback to take action toward achieving our long-term goals. By learning from setbacks, are we fully able to grow and stay motivated to succeed past a setback.
• Nurturing yourself is an essential part of the process. Staying positive and strong willed, we are able to move forward and take the risks essential to moving forward.

Focus on being flexible to change is the understanding the first step is not always the most successful one. Realize that things change, and even carefully-made plans may need to be amended or completely changed. Thomas Edison made thousands of prototypes of the incandescent light bulb before he finally got it right. His resilience gave the world some of the most amazing inventions. Resilience is being adaptable to unexpected changes and setbacks. Having the strength and fortitude to overcoming adversity, and to keep moving forward towards our dreams and goals in the life we have always imagined.

SWOT Approach & Why It Is Essential For A Successful Team Environment

A successful team utilizes the SWOT (Strengths, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats) approach in problem-solving. When a team is better capable of working in an open environment, ideas flourish and therefore the team is better able to be successful as a unit.

SWOT is a strategic way of problem-solving which utilizes three different schools of thinking:

• Rational - A "pros/cons" look at weighing your options on a decision
• Creative- This process challenge norms by using new and innovative ideas
• Strategic- This is looking at how the solution is directly impacting the "Bigger Picture"

SWOT is using both internal and external environments and their positive and negative reactions as strategic thinking to map out a way of evaluating the situation or problem and how to overcome it. Andrew Schrange CEO of Money Crashers notes, "It allowed me to identify the key areas where my organization was performing at a high level, as well as areas that needed work."

Strengths are utilizing your resources and abilities to help resolving the issue. By addressing the Weaknesses, such as lack of knowledge or self-critical thoughts, one is able to see where the internal problem lie. When the team seeks the Opportunities they have to be successful they can see the Threats, or barriers, to their success and they are better equipped with tacking those shortcomings together as a unit to resolve their long-term issues.

As the team addresses each aspect of the SWOT approach in a non-restrictive environment, they are better able to collaborate ideas in a time when reflection and introspect can occur without restraint. With the ability to be open and honest, team members are open to challenge norms, and creativity for risk-taking ideas can flourish. When these new ideas are brought to other team members, research and analysis can be completed to anticipate failure or success based on the strategy and goal of the team. With this holistic view of an objective, a team is better capable of preventing a "bandage" short-term fix for an overall large issue.

To be successful in SWOT, each member of the team collaborates with their own past experiences, mental attitude and individual factors. With each personal barrier a teammate brings to the group, the more difficult success can be achieved using the SWOT approach. Members of the team have to realize barriers prevent success but once a team looks at a barrier as a opportunity for success, they are better capable of turning that barrier into an opportunity for personal growth. Within the SWOT approach, if a team member lacks experience, an opportunity can be created for mentoring with another fellow teammate or a committee can be created to collaborate for teaching a new method or learning opportunity.

As each team member comes together with their ideas and self-awareness, goals can be achieved. Each member of the team can provide insight to a process or challenge the group faces. With each new idea, fellow members are able to ask questions and obtain different views on achieving success on the problem which prevents their success. With innovation flourishing, the team can clarify objectives and prioritize steps to reach their goals. By broadening the range of their innovative ideas through collaboration, they are better capable of tackling their barriers and find solutions to be successful.